[Noel ends up leaning forward so that his elbows rest on his knees and he buries his face into his hands and sighs another ragged tired sigh.
He has a hard time believing that because he still can't get the feeling to shake off him. Not after Machina came barging in with his own ideologies about l'cie and Machina and Hope becoming such best buddies.]
It's still different. [Noel breathes after a moment of silence,] It always will be.
[He's seen the power they all have and he'll just never have that. It's a fact that can't be refuted.] Can we stop talking about this now?
[Spoiler alert. Lightning shoots that glare right back at Noel, no holds barred.]
You know, I wouldn't have asked just anyone to help Serah. If you find yourself thinking those things, remember that. You're capable and you're one of us, l'Cie or not, so I don't know who's putting those ideas in your head.
[Well, she might as well be since she's pretty much a god...
The truth is he's the one putting the ideas into his own head. Too much thinking on his own and resentment building up without a way to expel it all in a healthy way.
Her words, however sharp they are, sort of ... Makes him blush a little. He looks away, frowning. Maybe a bit ashamed.]
If I had even a fraction of the talent and skill that you all have, maybe things would be different.
[Lightning rolls her eyes at that. Why is he being so stubborn!]
You don't think you're a skilled fighter? What about all the things you've built for this place? You're talented in more ways than you think and I'd give anything to be able to do what you can. All I'm good for is swinging a sword.
[She tries to be as genuine as possible, despite that her fingers are curling into infuriated fists. If it's the only way to get through to him, she's willing to do it. She's done it once before.
None of what Lightning says is a lie, though. She's spent months trying to figure out something that's right for her – she's tired of fighting – but nothing has fit the bill and she's starting to worry that nothing will.]
He glances at her again and shakes his head. Yeah, those sorts of things, his hobbies, make up a part of who he is but he's always had to struggle to find definition in his life. Even before everything with Caius and Yeul. Where to go, how to be on his own, not to follow in what Caius was...
He knows this is getting heated and honestly the last thing he wants to do is piss her off when he's just being honest.]
I know I can fight. That's not ... Lightning, you're more important to this family than I am. Don't talk about what you can or can't do. You're the one holding us all together.
[Lightning never once thought of it that way, nor does she want to. She was never the one to hold anyone together. She could lead, sure, but keeping them there? Keeping them together?]
That's on you just as much as it is the rest of us. If any of us didn't wanna be here, then we would've left. So why haven't you?
[She pauses, but not long enough for Noel to get a word in. Lightning knows the answer to that already, and it's the one she's gonna go for whether he likes it or not.]
We're a family, Noel. We have to get through this. All of us. Together.
[What he says about her being the thread that ties them all together is true, though. Without her things would be very different. For all of them.
He can't quite lift his gaze to her as she replies but he slowly nods his head. He picks not to reply to her question because she seems to already know the answer even if Noel needs some reminding of it.]
[She tilts her head, searching his expression for the things he isn't saying out loud, silent until she pushes herself upright. If she knows Noel as well as she thinks she does, there are a lot of things he isn't saying, but pushing him is going to do him no good. Not now, anyway.
Instead, she opts for crossing over to him and poking him right in the middle of his forehead.]
[Noel startles when Lighting pokes him, honestly! She's never done that to him before? So it surprises Noel and he snaps his gaze up to her with a confused expression.]
What- [He frowns as there's a flicker of green energy that wisps around him.]
[Her lips twitch and she smiles down at him, stifling a laugh at his reaction. She's not sure what that green stuff is or what it means, but Lightning hopes that it's a good thing, and that all of the things she's said has helped, even if it's a little bit.]
You'll get wrinkly if you frown too much.
[Lightning makes for the door, but pauses before stepping back inside.]
It's getting chilly. You should come in soon. Was thinking of making some cocoa. It'd be a damn shame if I drank it all for myself.
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no subject
He has a hard time believing that because he still can't get the feeling to shake off him. Not after Machina came barging in with his own ideologies about l'cie and Machina and Hope becoming such best buddies.]
It's still different. [Noel breathes after a moment of silence,] It always will be.
[He's seen the power they all have and he'll just never have that. It's a fact that can't be refuted.] Can we stop talking about this now?
8|
Why, so you can get back to moping around by yourself? You know why I came to talk to you, and it wasn't just about the things Machina said.
[Lightning's worried, but she doesn't know how to express that. Not with words...]
8U
Maybe perhaps a part of him grateful for it too. A small part.]
I'm not moping. [And a small glare in her direction...
He's moping.]
no subject
[Spoiler alert. Lightning shoots that glare right back at Noel, no holds barred.]
You know, I wouldn't have asked just anyone to help Serah. If you find yourself thinking those things, remember that. You're capable and you're one of us, l'Cie or not, so I don't know who's putting those ideas in your head.
no subject
The truth is he's the one putting the ideas into his own head. Too much thinking on his own and resentment building up without a way to expel it all in a healthy way.
Her words, however sharp they are, sort of ... Makes him blush a little. He looks away, frowning. Maybe a bit ashamed.]
If I had even a fraction of the talent and skill that you all have, maybe things would be different.
no subject
You don't think you're a skilled fighter? What about all the things you've built for this place? You're talented in more ways than you think and I'd give anything to be able to do what you can. All I'm good for is swinging a sword.
[She tries to be as genuine as possible, despite that her fingers are curling into infuriated fists. If it's the only way to get through to him, she's willing to do it. She's done it once before.
None of what Lightning says is a lie, though. She's spent months trying to figure out something that's right for her – she's tired of fighting – but nothing has fit the bill and she's starting to worry that nothing will.]
no subject
He glances at her again and shakes his head. Yeah, those sorts of things, his hobbies, make up a part of who he is but he's always had to struggle to find definition in his life. Even before everything with Caius and Yeul. Where to go, how to be on his own, not to follow in what Caius was...
He knows this is getting heated and honestly the last thing he wants to do is piss her off when he's just being honest.]
I know I can fight. That's not ... Lightning, you're more important to this family than I am. Don't talk about what you can or can't do. You're the one holding us all together.
[He trails off.]
no subject
[Lightning never once thought of it that way, nor does she want to. She was never the one to hold anyone together. She could lead, sure, but keeping them there? Keeping them together?]
That's on you just as much as it is the rest of us. If any of us didn't wanna be here, then we would've left. So why haven't you?
[She pauses, but not long enough for Noel to get a word in. Lightning knows the answer to that already, and it's the one she's gonna go for whether he likes it or not.]
We're a family, Noel. We have to get through this. All of us. Together.
no subject
He can't quite lift his gaze to her as she replies but he slowly nods his head. He picks not to reply to her question because she seems to already know the answer even if Noel needs some reminding of it.]
Yeah. Family... I know.
[His words are simple and quiet. But sincere.]
no subject
Instead, she opts for crossing over to him and poking him right in the middle of his forehead.]
Stop sulking. I hate when you do that.
no subject
What- [He frowns as there's a flicker of green energy that wisps around him.]
I'm not sulking. Everything's fine, alright?
[He'll get over this. She's helped, though.]
no subject
[Her lips twitch and she smiles down at him, stifling a laugh at his reaction. She's not sure what that green stuff is or what it means, but Lightning hopes that it's a good thing, and that all of the things she's said has helped, even if it's a little bit.]
You'll get wrinkly if you frown too much.
[Lightning makes for the door, but pauses before stepping back inside.]
It's getting chilly. You should come in soon. Was thinking of making some cocoa. It'd be a damn shame if I drank it all for myself.
no subject
Yeah. I'll be in in a few minutes.