[Oh. Oh no, poor Noel. Yeul's heart plummets into her stomach and all her own fears she's held in silenced are pushed away. Instead, one hand reaches up to rest on Noel's cheek.]
My Noel...
[She's going to dissect what he said, all of it. Attempt to comfort him with all the love and assurance she can muster. Because she cannot fathom that he would have destroyed the heart of chaos without good reason.
It's strange, also, that she in a way finds herself relieved. Because if Noel truly has done this thing, it means Caius is freed of the shackles her life has been to him. That is... something for later. Noel is the priority and Yeul brushes some hair out of his face.]
We should sit down.
[Preferably some way that she can curl up in his lap and remind him that she's here now and hopefully allay his fears.]
[He doesn't want to burden her with all of this. He truly doesn't. Someone her age shouldn't have to deal with this.
But Noel has been keeping these things inside his heart for so long that sometimes he can feel that vast chaos coiling in his lungs. He needs to tell someone. He needs to process this before he crumbles under it. If not Yeul, the person he trusts the most in this world, then who?
He puts his hand on the back of hers before he moves to the bed to sit.]
[This is what Yeul was born to do. To guide others. Her age doesn't matter. It's a blessing in her eyes to have the chance to help the one person most important to her. And right now, she'd give just about anything to ease his heart.
The moment he sits, Yeul crawls into his lap. Though instead of curling up into a tiny ball needing to be protected, she replaces her small hand on his face. Leans her forehead into his. Then leans back and keeps her eyes fixed on his.]
You do not need to apologize. You have done nothing wrong. I should.
I know, I'm not permitted to change my fate. But... I wanted to. I wasn't ready to leave you. I wanted to stay with you forever.
[This is hard, but it's something he needs to hear.]
You were never going to be able to save me, Noel. So please, do not blame yourself. If anything, blame me for leaving you.
[He wraps his arms around her carefully when she pulls into his lap. Closing his eyes and easing out a short tired sigh when her forehead presses to his.]
... I wanted to change the future. I wanted things to be okay.
[And here, they are. He holds on to this harder than he should.]
If I'm not meant to save you, I don't want to leave this world.
[A whispered confession that Yeul ought not to be making. She knows the law, that she's not permitted to change her fate. That she has a responsibility to protect the timeline. It's not that she's afraid to stop living--she faced that eventuality without hesitation--but that she doesn't want to be separated from Noel again. She has been so happy with their life here, being reunited, that she allowed her fear of having it stolen away to nibble at her heart.
Without apology for her lapse of adherence to Farseer law, Yeul leans up just enough to kiss Noel on the forehead.]
I saw our future, Noel. We were together in a world where grass grows. I believe in that future. I believe you will make it happen. Whatever you've done, or will do, I know that it will lead there.
[She has absolute faith in that vision. But more than that, she has absolute faith in Noel. That future will come to pass, even if it seems impossible, living in a world together where life flourishes. But it will. It has to. Because if it doesn't, then she died for a vision of a future that perished with her. And that is a lapse of faith that Yeul will never be willing to entertain in her thoughts.
But then again... perhaps this place is the future she saw.]
[He lifts his gaze to her after she kisses his forehead. He watches her face while just barely keeping his resolve in one piece. He reaches a hand to tuck a lock of her soft blue hair behind her ear neatly.]
Would you still ... want me. If I did whatever it took to get that future...?
[It's a real question. Once already Noel had destroyed the timeline to try and save her. And if he's honest with himself... He'd do it again if he had a chance to do it right. He do anything to be with her outside of this world.
Because he knows it's temporary. He knows this world is a stopover. Someday, It's going to end...]
[When Noel tucks her hair behind her ear, Yeul tilts her face into his hand. Just for that tiny moment, to be that much more in contact with him.]
Of course I would, Noel. I love you.
[She reaches up to rest her hand on his cheek again, not breaking her adoring gaze fixed on his face. It's possibly the gentlest of love confessions in the history of the world, but Yeul is laying her heart bare.]
I know you. I have known you all my life. I know you've looked out for me. And I know that you will choose what is right.
[Not because she's gone peeping into the future, but her faith in him is that strong and sure. They, more than anyone else in history, understand exactly how precious a life is. Not for one minute does Yeul believe that Noel would do something to squander lives to achieve their renewed future.]
[Her confession of love is so quiet and soft in the silence of this room that for a split second Noel wonders if he actually heard and did not just dream it. Her face is so earnest and close to his. He can hear the terrifying thumping of his heart in his ears as he swallows the moment. He'd give anything for this soul in his arms. Anything-- Even if it cost him years worth of mistakes.]
... You deserve so much more than what I can give you.
[He observes her face and the depths of her green eyes with a sad smile. He brings a finger to her chin and lifts it slightly towards him. He's so lost without her. Here in his arms, it feels like the cloud in his mind can lift.]
I've loved you since the first day I've known you. So, I'll try...
[He kisses her softly and with the same slow innocence that he always does.]
[He says she deserves more, and yet all that Yeul wants is what they have now: a life together in a living world. Her needs are so simple and her desires simpler still. This is it. Being with Noel is everything.
And then he says he loves her.
It's then she realizes that maybe she had wanted more. More than just a life, a chance to love him and be loved in return. Her heart leaps and begins to pound rapidly, as if it would beat its way free.
Up until now, all their shared kisses have stayed innocent and gentle. This one feels different to Yeul somehow. The hand on his cheek slides up to wind fingers into his hair, pulling him even closer to her. Gone is the passive and chaste response to kissing, there's an insistence behind hers to convey just how deeply she loves him.
[There's a sharp jump in his heart as it picks up the pace. Her reciprocating in such a way has his nerves light on fire. He pulls her closer from around her waist. He continues to kiss her and follows her insistence with more gentle pressure.
It's a sharp reminder that she's a young woman and growing every day. He loves her and it's only human of him to want her too.
The room fills with the scent of fresh wildflowers, calming and sweet.
When they break his eyes are finally swimming with life.]
[]There's the softest whimper from Yeul when they do break because why did the kissing stop? Although it's obvious just how much she was enjoying the moment. Her hair's floating in the air like it's been inflicted with static electricity and tiny little glittery motes of light are bouncing around.
Her eyes are shining with love and stay fixed on Noel's face. He's so handsome and Yeul adores him so much. It's painful to her to see him hurting in anyway. Yet she's relieved that he's opening up to her, letting her help, rather than keeping her on the outside to worry for him.]
It's okay. I understand why you did.
[Truly, she does. No reproach ever on that score. It's only human to have fears and things that make you angry. Like Mog eating all your favorite fruit tarts. ALL of them.]
I'm sorry too, for upsetting you. But, I'm so happy you told me why you did. I want to help, I want you to be happy. To feel safe.
[She was born with the gift to guide. To bolster the hope of their people. And it's something she wants to do for herself, not just because of who she was born. Yeul wants very much to be useful, to make things better around her. Starting with the man whose arms she's curled up in at the moment.]
I love you so very much.
[If he has any lingering worries the first time was his imagination, there it is again.]
[With her curled up in his arms and looking at him like he's the light of her life? There isn't a moment where he's ever felt safer or happier. When she's with him his world makes the most sense. His heart beats and his lungs breathe. As long as she wants him and she's happy-- then he's happy.]
Never safer than when I'm with you. I love you, Yeul.
[The oracle drive, while it still makes him feel apprehensive, is something he can forget his feelings about. If it makes her happy that's all that matters.]
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no subject
My Noel...
[She's going to dissect what he said, all of it. Attempt to comfort him with all the love and assurance she can muster. Because she cannot fathom that he would have destroyed the heart of chaos without good reason.
It's strange, also, that she in a way finds herself relieved. Because if Noel truly has done this thing, it means Caius is freed of the shackles her life has been to him. That is... something for later. Noel is the priority and Yeul brushes some hair out of his face.]
We should sit down.
[Preferably some way that she can curl up in his lap and remind him that she's here now and hopefully allay his fears.]
no subject
But Noel has been keeping these things inside his heart for so long that sometimes he can feel that vast chaos coiling in his lungs. He needs to tell someone. He needs to process this before he crumbles under it. If not Yeul, the person he trusts the most in this world, then who?
He puts his hand on the back of hers before he moves to the bed to sit.]
I'm sorry.
no subject
The moment he sits, Yeul crawls into his lap. Though instead of curling up into a tiny ball needing to be protected, she replaces her small hand on his face. Leans her forehead into his. Then leans back and keeps her eyes fixed on his.]
You do not need to apologize. You have done nothing wrong. I should.
I know, I'm not permitted to change my fate. But... I wanted to. I wasn't ready to leave you. I wanted to stay with you forever.
[This is hard, but it's something he needs to hear.]
You were never going to be able to save me, Noel. So please, do not blame yourself. If anything, blame me for leaving you.
no subject
... I wanted to change the future. I wanted things to be okay.
[And here, they are. He holds on to this harder than he should.]
If I'm not meant to save you, I don't want to leave this world.
no subject
[A whispered confession that Yeul ought not to be making. She knows the law, that she's not permitted to change her fate. That she has a responsibility to protect the timeline. It's not that she's afraid to stop living--she faced that eventuality without hesitation--but that she doesn't want to be separated from Noel again. She has been so happy with their life here, being reunited, that she allowed her fear of having it stolen away to nibble at her heart.
Without apology for her lapse of adherence to Farseer law, Yeul leans up just enough to kiss Noel on the forehead.]
I saw our future, Noel. We were together in a world where grass grows. I believe in that future. I believe you will make it happen. Whatever you've done, or will do, I know that it will lead there.
[She has absolute faith in that vision. But more than that, she has absolute faith in Noel. That future will come to pass, even if it seems impossible, living in a world together where life flourishes. But it will. It has to. Because if it doesn't, then she died for a vision of a future that perished with her. And that is a lapse of faith that Yeul will never be willing to entertain in her thoughts.
But then again... perhaps this place is the future she saw.]
no subject
Would you still ... want me. If I did whatever it took to get that future...?
[It's a real question. Once already Noel had destroyed the timeline to try and save her. And if he's honest with himself... He'd do it again if he had a chance to do it right. He do anything to be with her outside of this world.
Because he knows it's temporary. He knows this world is a stopover. Someday, It's going to end...]
no subject
Of course I would, Noel. I love you.
[She reaches up to rest her hand on his cheek again, not breaking her adoring gaze fixed on his face. It's possibly the gentlest of love confessions in the history of the world, but Yeul is laying her heart bare.]
I know you. I have known you all my life. I know you've looked out for me. And I know that you will choose what is right.
[Not because she's gone peeping into the future, but her faith in him is that strong and sure. They, more than anyone else in history, understand exactly how precious a life is. Not for one minute does Yeul believe that Noel would do something to squander lives to achieve their renewed future.]
Nothing you do will ever change my heart.
no subject
... You deserve so much more than what I can give you.
[He observes her face and the depths of her green eyes with a sad smile. He brings a finger to her chin and lifts it slightly towards him. He's so lost without her. Here in his arms, it feels like the cloud in his mind can lift.]
I've loved you since the first day I've known you. So, I'll try...
[He kisses her softly and with the same slow innocence that he always does.]
no subject
And then he says he loves her.
It's then she realizes that maybe she had wanted more. More than just a life, a chance to love him and be loved in return. Her heart leaps and begins to pound rapidly, as if it would beat its way free.
Up until now, all their shared kisses have stayed innocent and gentle. This one feels different to Yeul somehow. The hand on his cheek slides up to wind fingers into his hair, pulling him even closer to her. Gone is the passive and chaste response to kissing, there's an insistence behind hers to convey just how deeply she loves him.
Though... they do say practice makes perfect.]
no subject
It's a sharp reminder that she's a young woman and growing every day. He loves her and it's only human of him to want her too.
The room fills with the scent of fresh wildflowers, calming and sweet.
When they break his eyes are finally swimming with life.]
I'm sorry I lost my temper.
no subject
Her eyes are shining with love and stay fixed on Noel's face. He's so handsome and Yeul adores him so much. It's painful to her to see him hurting in anyway. Yet she's relieved that he's opening up to her, letting her help, rather than keeping her on the outside to worry for him.]
It's okay. I understand why you did.
[Truly, she does. No reproach ever on that score. It's only human to have fears and things that make you angry.
Like Mog eating all your favorite fruit tarts. ALL of them.]I'm sorry too, for upsetting you. But, I'm so happy you told me why you did. I want to help, I want you to be happy. To feel safe.
[She was born with the gift to guide. To bolster the hope of their people. And it's something she wants to do for herself, not just because of who she was born. Yeul wants very much to be useful, to make things better around her. Starting with the man whose arms she's curled up in at the moment.]
I love you so very much.
[If he has any lingering worries the first time was his imagination, there it is again.]
no subject
[With her curled up in his arms and looking at him like he's the light of her life? There isn't a moment where he's ever felt safer or happier. When she's with him his world makes the most sense. His heart beats and his lungs breathe. As long as she wants him and she's happy-- then he's happy.]
Never safer than when I'm with you. I love you, Yeul.
[The oracle drive, while it still makes him feel apprehensive, is something he can forget his feelings about. If it makes her happy that's all that matters.]